Well little superstar, you just celebrated your third birthday and its cliché but wow that went quick.

This birthday was a special one for all of us as it’s the last as parents of one little girl and your last before becoming a big sister. You are beyond excited to be a big sister and seeing the sense of duty that you have portrayed about the upcoming role makes me very proud.

We shared a wonderful weekend with friends and family at Australia Zoo and you had an absolute blast. I love how much you love animals and quite enjoy watching you interact with your crew. I have no doubt that you will be a future leader, even if it just seems like a bit of bossiness now.

Now I’m guessing that like most parents, it feels like one minute you were just starting to take your first steps and the next you are having conversations with your mother and I that absolutely blow our minds. I’ll document some of those conversations privately as this post is more about my time as a Father and the lessons I have learnt (Read: still trying to get a handle on) but between us, you are very concerned with who you are going to marry already.

One of the things that I quickly learnt as a father was that I had a lot to learn. I don’t think I ever thought I would have it completely figured out but I know now that I most certainly will not. It’s a constant stream of updating my knowledge and actions as you grow so that I can always be in my best position to guide you.

 

Here’s the three biggest things that being your father for three years has taught me,

 

1. Laugh–

This is a recent one. We got you a trampoline for an early birthday present and it is something that you had wanted for a long time. I’m a big fan of it as it’s another thing that we can share time on each day. Just this week we were both out there, you as Wonder Woman, me as Superman, and we were fighting all the bad guys imaginable -Yep, this is my favourite game that you want to play- and you were cracking up laughing each time one of us would fall over or get a bad guy. I was smiling and having a great time and then you stopped and said to me “Dad…Laugh” it took me a bit by surprise as I was having a good time so I replied “I am darling”

No, I wasn’t.

You quickly pointed out “No, like this……HAHAHAHAHAHAHA” running around the trampoline and educating me on a deep belly laugh. Well, that got me laughing and it hit me. As adults, we regularly hold it in. We have fun but try not to show it as often.

I made sure for the rest of the afternoon I let out all of my laughter quite loud and it was one of my best afternoons with you. Thank you for that lesson.

 

2. Be Present and Engaged –

This one seems standard and cliché but it’s so important. I live in a world where it seems like everything is always vying for my attention. It’s very easy for me to get caught up and not focus fully on you when I am with you. It requires great discipline from myself and self-awareness of when I’m slipping and this is something that I’m working on.

I need to be better at this for my time with your mother as well.

I think if we are fully present and focused in each moment then the sense that time flies by will not be as encompassing. We will know that we lived in each moment with our fullest attention and soaked up everything there was to experience.

The times when I am fully focused on you and the conversation or game or job that we are doing at the time, I can see why its so important, why my attention must be solely on you. I can see you watch the way I react to stories, the way my face moves with different emotions or the way my body language shows my message.

If I’m not cognisant of what you’re learning from me because I’m distracted by something else, then I’m not fulfilling my role as a parent. I can see in your eyes that all you desire is quality time with your parents and one day that won’t be the case… It’s my job to be present and fully engaged while it is!

 

3.  Allow failures –

This is maybe one of the most important lesson that any parent in our current time can learn, understand and really action. Not just talk about, but really action.

There is growing trend of children that haven’t been allowed to fail and make mistakes, or when they have they haven’t been accountable for them, and this is showing in schools and the workforce.

It’s easier to quickly clean up after you or to fix something broken or to let you off the hook this “one” time, but that doesn’t teach anything except entitlement over time.

It would probably also be easier to just send you to your room every time and not have to think through the problem but that wouldn’t help either.

There’s a very fine, very challenging line in the middle for parents to tread.

I have to let you fall, let you break things, let you not listen and follow through with a set punishment, say no even when I want to say yes, so that you learn real cause and effect. So that you learn from little bouts of adversity and start to build resilience and a mindset that allows you to overcome these little obstacles when they arise.

I promise you that I will not be the parent that gives you everything you want, but I will also communicate the reasoning clearly.

You’re mother and I have a rule that we never say “Because I said so”.

It’s a hard thing to stick to but we have kept each other accountable so far.

 

It has been the most amazing three years, even the challenging bits, and I wouldn’t trade any of it.

Love Dad x