7-2-18

“Never stifle a generous impulse.”

Scott McGee, The Sisu Way

Hello sweetheart,

I’m sure somewhere, someone else has stated a similar quote to this but it was in a Podcast from Scott the other day that stirred a lesson in me. I have been listening and re-listening to some of his Sisu Way messages and a few in particular resonated with me so much that I was compelled to write to you mid podcast.

This one is a tough one for me but the lesson is extremely important to remember.

Scott and a guest were in a conversation about talking to the ones you love regularly and one of his creeds was brought up,

“Never stifle a generous impulse.”

Never think that there will be another time to act upon this feeling as there simply may not be. Just act upon it straight away in that moment.

During this interview and just before I started writing you this entry in my common place book (I’ll talk about this in a future entry) I got out my phone and sent my mother a message telling her that I love her with a recent picture of you, me, and Amy enjoying some time at a lake near our home. She has been having a rough time lately and I thought that a message and picture could really brighten her day. Normally I’d push this thought out with a promise to send it later and of course would forget to do it thus becoming a non event. It was a strange feeling to send that message out of the blue but I’m going to change that and not let those messages go wanting anymore.

This whole process and thought track really hit hard for me as it was something that I have taken for granted before and paid the price.

A few years ago, your great grandmother (I am going to try and get a lot of information and memories about her together for you sweetie as she would have loved you like crazy and you her. I can only imagine the amount of clothing she would have made for you as she had a huge love for sewing), was in hospital for an operation. I can’t quite remember the exact operation but I believe it was a pretty standard op. Exact details are a bit hazy but she was in hospital (Pre Op) on a weekend that Amy and I were in Brisbane and it came up in conversation that I could pop over to the hospital and see her.

I can clearly remember saying to Amy, something to the effect of “I won’t bother going this weekend, I’ll just see them next time we are down.”

If only I had known at the time what a huge decision this would turn out to be, a harmless sentence and a thought that every one of us has weekly about their friends and family.

As I was to find out, there sadly wouldn’t be a next time as by the next weekend she was in a coma from a complication during the operation and I would never get a chance to speak to her again.

I regret that decision nearly everyday and will for the rest of my life, and every time I think about it I feel sick to my stomach with sadness, but I can’t change that, all I can do is promise to never take time, relationships and family for granted ever again.

This one was a bit more solemn my darling, but wrapped in this tragic outcome is a beautiful message in really appreciating and being grateful for what you have in every moment.

It’s kind of the underlay of a lot of these entries but that is because it will be one of the most important lesson I can try to impart upon you.

Enjoy and cherish absolutely every moment and be grateful for every second you get to spend with your loved ones.

Love Dad